Bawful After Dark: December 29, 2010

Mike D'Antoni prepares to play the Cowardly Lion in the team's production of The Wizard of Oz

Ready for another night of terrible games? Yeah, me neither. Let's watch embedded videos to ease the pain.

A big thank you to the guys at The Basketball Jones for sharing this clip someone submitted to them with the world. This is one of the greatest videos ever. Stan van Gundy hates Turkoglu!

Ball.

Want to see the best thing Rick Reilly has done in a decade? Watch as he dunks on a Pop-a-Shot.

It's like the world's lamest episode of Jackass

Something I learned today from this article on Yahoo! about bogus celebrity health tips: Alex Reid is fantastically misinformed.

One of the highlights for SAS was a tip from cage fighter Alex Reid, who told The Sun tabloid newspaper in April that he "reabsorbs" his sperm to prepare for a big fight.

"It's actually very good for a man to have unprotected sex as long as he doesn't ejaculate. Because I believe that all that semen has a lot of nutrition. A tablespoon of semen has your equivalent of steak, eggs, lemons and oranges. I am reabsorbing it into my body and it makes me go raaaaahh," he said.

Raaaaahh.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

This is what it looks like when Brian Cardinal gets meaningful minutes of contributory basketball

Getting a little personal there, Derek

Okay, now I like this Duncan Face

"Do I need to introduce your face to the back of my hand"

Nationally Televised Games:
Jazz at Clippers, NBA TV, 10:30pm: According to ESPNResearch, "NBA off to best regular season start ever. ESPN & TNT ratings up over 30% from last year." And yet thanks to college football bowl season, ESPN is not airing any Wednesday or Friday night games this week, and the only national game tonight is a goddamn Clippers game on NBA TV. Way to say "thanks fans," NBA.

All The Other Games:
Warriors at Hawks, 7pm: Golden State is on a three game winning streak. What? No. That's not possible! There must be a mistake! Oh, wait, they played the Purple Paupers, Frail Blazers, and 76ers? Nevermind.

Pacers at Wizards Generals, 7pm: Yes, Washington sucks. But Indiana has dropped 6 of their last 8, and all losses were double-digit ass-whuppins, including their most recent thrashing from a short-bench injury-riddled Celtics team. The interest level in this game is somewhere between "watching a Chia-pet grow" and "staring at the back of your eyelids."

Cavaliers at Bobcraps, 7pm: We got a dead coach bounce last game from the Bobcraps. However, consider the laws of physics. That first bounce is always the highest. It will bounce less every time. Good thing they get to take advantage of playing a woeful Cleveland team who will be happy to just get the hell out of Ohio for a few minutes.

Celtics at Pistons, 7:30pm: Some good news out of Boston.

Lakers at Hornets, 8pm: So Kobe's "pissed [mad]" at himself. Does that mean he won't take 30 bajillion bad jumpers in this game?

Nuggets at Timberwolves, 8pm: The Timberpups are riding a two game winning streak, and Carmelo won't be playing in this game. Ruh roh.

Nyets at Thunder, 8pm: The last time these two teams met, we were treated to a triple overtime finish. I really, really, really doubt that we'll see that again in this game.

Heat at Rockets, 8:30pm: Thank God Houston has a basketball team to root for, because their football team is just downright depressing.

76ers at Suns, 9pm: You can't tell me you aren't excited that Vince Carter might make his Phoenix debut in this game. Wait, strike that. You can tell me that you don't care and I'll believe you.

Grizzlies at Kings, 10pm: This game is almost as stupid as this guy.