Bawful After Dark: December 22, 2010

Larry Brown attempts to gouge out his eyes after watching his Bobcraps play. Good thing he no longer has that problem!
Is anyone actually surprised by Larry Brown getting the hell out of Charlotte? I look forward to Michael Jordan doing what Bawful reader JJ suggested and becoming an owner/coach. The comedy would be endless!

Since the sun rose in the east this morning, that means we have yet another example of Ron Artest doing what Ron Artest does best. Here is a post from Trey Kirby at The Basketball Jones where Ron Artest tells us what stats Jesus Christ put up when he played in the NBA. Unfortunately, these numbers do not match up with those The Onion gives us. All I know is that this story made me immediately fire up Youtube to rewatch this video.

Via The Other Chris, check out this insane high school dunk contest.

Thanks for reminding me that I can barely reach the bottom of the net, guys
And some brief footbawful: oh for the love of God, they want to make a movie about the Madden Curse. So, is whomever they put on the poster doomed to break his ankle filming a scene for the movie? (h/t chris)

Worst of the Night in Pictures:
Noah making a goofy face and Scalabrine doing Scalabrine-like things. This is what this website is all about.

If I lost to the Bucks, I'd want to hide too

"Maybe I shouldn't have flashed that 'choke' sign..."

What's with the pouty faces? Nobody's forcing you to hug each other

Nationally Televised Games:
Bulls at Wizards Generals, 7pm: The story of the night for Washington is they will finally get to play their newest acquisition, Rashard Lewis. Because I'm sure that's the difference-maker that will vault them to the top of the standings.

All The Other Games:
Cavaliers at Hawks, 7pm: I know they don't have LeBron and all, but damn, when did Cleveland become something resembling an unholy Eastern Conference version of the Purple Paupers or Clippers? Something needs to light a fire under their asses. You know, other than their river.

Pistons at Craptors, 7pm: Well, at least a couple people will be enjoying this game. Per The Other Chris: "Bawful field trip tonight: Craptors vs. Pissed-Ons. I'm taking a friend with whom I have a bet about which team will have a worse record this year. Much drinking and yelling will ensue. 'Tis the season to be jolly!"

76ers at Celtics, 7:30pm: I still can't get over the fact that the Sixers have quietly been amazingly mediocre lately. I mean, 6-4 in their past 10 games? That's playing like a #4 seed in the Leastern Conference! (Good to know there's no way they can keep this up. Right? Right...?)

Thunder at Knicks, 7:30pm: Nice to see the schedule balancing out for New York. After a stretch of games softer than Charles Barkley's fat rolls, they're now getting their share of tough games, and the results haven't been pretty.

Nyets at Hornets, 8pm: Let's be honest, folks. Does anyone really see the Nyets landing Carmelo Anthony? How much longer do we have to entertain this storyline?

Jazz at Timberwolves, 8pm: Look out. This is the first time Al Jefferson will be facing his former team. I mean, you already don't want to lose to the Timberpups anyway just because that's humiliating, but especially when you've got some history with them.

Nuggets at Spurs, 8:30pm: Sad news: Carmelo won't be playing tonight due to a death in the family.

Rockets at Clippers, 10:30pm: What astronomical odds! Both of these teams are riding three game winning streaks! The only thing I expected them to be riding was an express train to the NBA draft lottery.