Bawful After Dark: January 5, 2011

That splatter is not dapper!
(h/t Drake and Will)
Since this is a blog about bad basketball, I have to link to this wonderful Joe Posnanski piece about Red Klotz and the Washington Generals, the team that wins by losing.

Those crazy Taiwanese animation gurus are at it again. This time they've documented the lawsuit that two massage therapists have brought against Brett Favre.

Two words: Penis gun

Worst of the Night in Pictures:
The Milwaukee Bucks. John Salmons looking goofy. A pile of tangled limbs and men laying on each other. A picture that was apparently taken at ISO 256000 and looks like an impressionist painting. This is basketbawful.

Not only did this result in a technical foul for Scott Skiles, it also made for a fantastic picture

Another day, another ugly Kobe face

They're like the bizarro versions of Tony Allen and OJ Mayo!

The lamest version of The Wave ever seen at a sporting event

Nationally Televised Games:
Lakers at Suns, ESPN, 10:30pm: Hurray! ESPN is finally showing another NBA game! Wait, it's a late game, so I'll be asleep for the second half? Nevermind.

All The Other Games:
Craptors at Cavaliers, 7pm: Oh hell no.

Bulls at Nyets, 7pm: Good news: Bulls are 18-1 against sub-.500 teams this year. Bad (and strange) news: they have lost two straight and 18 of 20 at New Jersey. Huh???

Bucks at Magic, 7pm: Even when healthy, the Bucks can't beat the Magic. They have nine straight losses in Orlando. So why should things change now when Brandon Jennings is injured?

Wizards Generals at 76ers, 7pm: I'd like to reiterate that the Generals are 0-16 on the road this year. You know, maybe the Craptors/Cavs game isn't the clear-cut winner in the battle for least appealing matchup of the night.

Spurs at Celtics, 7:30pm: I don't care what meaningless bowl games or World's Strongest Man reairs you have on your schedule, ESPN. Why the hell aren't you showing this game?

Warriors at Hornets, 8pm: The Warriors love to run. The Hornets don't. I would say whoever controls the tempo of this game would be a favorite, but... yeah, they're still the Warriors, even if they get to play the tempo they like.

Bobcraps at Timberwolves, 8pm: Let's take a closer look at this one. The AccuScore simulations of this game give the Timberpoops an 80% chance of victory. Minnesota is 9-26 at this point. This should tell you all you need to know about how horrible the Bobshats are at this point.

Frail Blazers at Rockets, 8:30pm: The last time we saw these teams battle was just last week, and the Blazers stomped all over the Rockets. Houston had their lowest point total of the season in a 100-85 loss. Revenge game, anyone?

Hawks at Jazz, 9pm: I don't like this game for the Hawks. They'll be on the road on the second night of a back-to-back against a well-coached team. I believe the technical term for this situation is "ruh roh!"

Nuggets at Clippers, 10:30pm: Word is that Blake Griffin will be in the dunk contest. Oh snap! I may have to actually watch for a change.